When I look back at pictures from when I was in the darkest part of my eating disorder I can't help but notice there was NO life in my eyes. From the outside looking in it might have seemd like I had everything. And I practically did, but something was missing. I feel like happiness and self confidence were lacking. I spent so much time and energy on being thin that left me tired and lifeless. I realize now that thin does not equal happiness even though my eating disorder tried to convince me of that every chance it got.
At one point in my eating disorder I realized that there was so much I wanted to do and accomplish in life but would not be able to do if my eating disorder kept holding me back. That is when I decided I wanted to focus on recovery. It was a very long and bumpy road with some road blocks along the way but I got there. Recovery is possible.
When I look at pictures now I can see the life in my eyes. I am at peace with food and happy with the people and accomplishments in my life.
Don't let anyone or anything dull your sparkle.